email@example.com, giragiragira @ plurkOther Characters Played:
Character InformationCharacter Name:
John EgbertCharacter Series:
MS Paint Adventures; HomestuckCharacter Age:
MaleOriginal CanonCanon Point:
End of Act 5, but before the ScratchBackground Link: John
John Egbert has seen many strange and terrible things in his time playing Sburb, the world’s deadliest Sims ripoff, and in fact what Homestuck is about. But no matter what he has seen, John has been persistent in his optimistic and occasionally naïve views of the world, even as he is pulled much too fast into a situation where he must mature a lot in a small amount of time.
In the beginning, when Homestuck was just taking its first forays into the vast world of the Internet, John too was simple and a little scattered – but both of them seemed to grow together, and what readers sloughed through in the early days established the pillars of John’s character that would be kept, in some form or another, for the the rest of the series up until the canon point which he’s been taken from right now. Like most thirteen-year-olds, John was shown to be easily annoyed and a little profane (in the first two pages he had already told someone to “try again, fuckass”, and a few pages later addressed the reader as “pooplord”). He tended to scuttle around the room, doing confusing and sometimes stupid things – though of course in the metaverse we know this was a result of Homestuck’s readers telling
him to do stupid things, he was still putting on reenactments of the one scene from Con Air
as late as the end of the fourth act.
Speaking of, this is another of John’s many talents; he is kind of a derp, a dork, a goof, whatever, and he isn’t ashamed to admit it. This is the boy who considers Con Air to be the pinnacle of motion picture history, you guys. The boy who put Slimer from Ghostbusters on his desktop background. The boy who actually uses those stupid mood indicators on Pesterchum. Mood indicators
! Even worse, he’s been shown to be easily led around by people he deems trustworthy. Though he’s gotten better at sniffing out liars as the story progresses (it’s made a lot easier if the person has horns), he still assumes the best of people, such as when he met a demented and darkness-tainted version of his friend Rose and still addressed her like he would on any other, non-grimdark-involved day. If John ever takes anything completely seriously, and doesn’t try to bomb it with – say – a bad joke or an awful movie reference, then it is pretty much a Big Thing and should probably be documented for future research, because this almost never happens. He likes to keep the mood light, and has from an early age, where he was influenced by the many great exploits of his knee-slappingly pranky and cunning grandmother, Nanna.
John is, well, loyal – be it from naïvete or just good old trust in his friends, he would never think of seriously deceiving someone else. He’s perfectly okay with doing juvenile things like misleading Karkat on the nature of human anatomy, which again, leads back into the whole prankster thing. Despite this, however, he has a few perceived issues with his father – at least, he did early on. This was an indicator of exactly how young he really was; even though Dad was nothing but kind and supportive to him, and John did love him back deep inside, he often complained about how his dad would lecture at him for hours on end or would throw way too much cake at him on his birthday. He even rolls his eyes at Dad’s very deep and heartfelt typed notes that were left for him at assorted points throughout the storyline. But John showed his concern for his father several times, wishing he knew where he was, and in the end, he truly did love him; when Dad was killed, John mourned him.
John is considered the ‘leader’ of the little four-man player group; the other three being, of course, cool-kid Dave, snarky Rose and flighty Jade. As Rose pointed out, John is the Designated Hero because he’s so optimistic, and has blind faith in amounts that most of the others couldn’t hope to match; as long as everyone Tries Their Best and Remains Smiling, then everything will come out according to plan. Even if ‘plan’ was never made. In John-land, they rarely are, because of some combination of natural disinclination and lack of information (John is in the dark almost the entire way through his story). This speaks volumes about his skill as a leader; even though their ride has been by no means an easy one, John has been doing the best he can to keep everyone alive and in good spirits, and for the most part it’s worked.Abilities:
Since the beginning, John has had a certain strife specibus that determines what kind of weapon he could use. Through some misinformation by Dave Strider, John got stuck with hammerKind, and though he started out with the type of hammer that one would expect to see hanging on the wall of a basement workshop, he soon graduated to such revered models as the Fear No Anvil
and Warhammer of Zillyhoo
Upon dying on his Quest Bed and graduating to the God Tiers (with a spiffy God Hood to match), he was given absolute power over his element of Breath, which earlier he had only been able to hint at. The four winds are now completely under his control, and he can create powerful cyclones, windstorms, tornado drills, and probably those silly air balls that you see on Avatar: The Last Airbender
. Essentially, he has the powers one might expect of an average wind god – after all, the entire point of the God Tiers is for a player to ascend to such power that he or she may serve as a literal god in the next world created by Sburb’s endless daisy chain.Sample Entry:
Was John completely missing the point of Floor Thirteen? Yes. Absolutely.
Cathedrals were meant for kneeling down in pews, bowing one’s head, clasping one’s hands, and praying. Cathedrals were not
meant for riding little wind currents upon. But unfortunately, John failed to get this memo, and here he was. The cathedral had very high ceilings, after all, and Floor Eleven seemed to make his powers no longer work, which was too bad. It would have been much better, because it’s wide open. As it is, John has to watch out to not crash into the walls or the assorted tapestries or the stone arches or—ow
Yeah, stone arches. They sneak up on a guy.
John’s wind carpet disappeared as soon as he hit his head, and recoiling madly, he was only just able to pull up another one to break his fall. Head ringing like a terror, John left the cathedral grumbling. Jeez. That hurt. No more windy thing rollercoasters for a while.